Thursday, December 31, 2009

Another year down…

Someone once told me to live each day as if it were my last. This is something that I should probably remember more often. This year has been one of tremendous ups and downs. This year was about change and growth. I turned 40 this year, and realized that it was just a number. Age is a state of mind and regardless of the number I feel good, and am grateful to have made it this far. I know that I have said this in the past, but every year is a gift. I never thought I would live to see 30, so the past ten years have been that gift that keeps on giving. I don’t know why I thought that, but it’s something that never occurred to me.

We experienced more loss this year with the passing of Jeffrey’s Grandmother. She meant so much to Jeffrey and the entire family. She and Jeffrey always had such amazing conversations (I can’t tell you the number of times he would get home at 2 in the morning having spent the entire day and evening in wonderful conversations). This was followed by a great deal of work around her home. The positive side to this (if there is one) is that we got to spend some great time with Jeffrey’s folks and siblings. They are amazing and I am blessed to have such wonderful in-laws.

In March I had surgery and for the first time in my life I was able to breathe out of my nose. No more snorting (the snoring is still there, but that will go…) no more gasping for breath and the amazing ability to breath as others breath. The first time this hit me was that first day back to lifting weights. I took a deep breath in through my nose and it was amazing.

Just after my surgery I was moved into a new position with a new manager. At the same time we ran through a major conversion (as a part of the CW to BAC transition) that was a huge success. As a result of this major project I made some wonderful friends and accomplished something major. My new job proved to be a greater challenge then I anticipated. I lost my two employees (they moved up and into new positions) and had to now support the team that I was a part of… It is still a challenge to this day, but I know that I will continue to grow and gain more knowledge and experience as a result of these challenges.

Over Labor Day weekend I met up with the family in Las Vegas to unveil my Grandmothers tomb stone (Jewish tradition). It was wonderful to spend time with my Brother and parents and enjoyed seeing the cousins again. Another plus was the ability to meet up with Jeffrey’s Sister and her husband for breakfast. Everyone is so scattered that we don’t see each other enough. I hope this coming year will rectify that one… It was a wonderful celebration of my Grandmother and I realized that I miss her often. I am blessed to have had the almost 40 years I had with her.

Immediately following my return Jeffrey went in for Kidney surgery. This was probably one of the most stressful and terrifying times in my life. If you have ever had a spouse or partner go through something this major then you know what I mean. I am forever grateful for our wonderful friend Mika who stayed with me and made sure that I was OK. She hugged me when I cried tears of joy that he was OK, and just was there for both of us. We are lucky in our lives to have added the entire McDonald clan to our family. They are amazing, loving people who we are forever grateful for. God gives you your parents and siblings, but you get to pick the people that extend that family. We could not have asked for more amazing family then the McDonalds (that includes the Gustafson’s too)… 

Needless to say Jeffrey pulled out of it well and I made it through a couple more major work transition initiatives (there are more in 2010). In November we celebrated my Best Friend’s wedding. It was a wonderful weekend and I don’t know the words to express the joy I felt that I was privileged enough to stand up there with her, as she married the man of her dreams (and sometimes nightmares… ) These are two people that love each other unconditionally and I only wish that everyone could find that person that loves them even in the craziness. Jeffrey and I celebrated our seventeenth anniversary the following weekend. It’s difficult to express the gratitude, love and amazement that I found someone to share my life with. So many people look for that person, and 17+ years ago he appeared in my life, and I couldn’t imagine life without him. We laugh everyday, and we hold each other when we are sad, or just had a rough day. I continue to look forward to the years ahead with this amazing man. After our anniversary it was off to Palm Springs for Thanksgiving. What an amazing time we had. Again we spent this holiday with the McDonald’s and love them all so much.

As the year comes to a close we had a couple of other things happen. Jeffrey celebrated another Birthday. I surprised him this year with a party. He had friends from High School all the way to our wonderful new yoga friends. Oh yeah, we discovered Yoga this past March thanks to our friends Robb and David. They came into town for a short visit and connected us to an amazing and wonderful couple Anna and Heather. Anna is a wonderful Yoga instructor and we look forward to our Monday night classes with her, as well as our ever growing friendship. For Christmas this year we purchased a new car (this one is the most exciting), and Jeffrey went through one more surgery. He just came out of it this afternoon and is home resting. He is amazing with this stuff. With 2010 fast approaching there are so many things to be grateful for.

This year involved a great deal of closure, many lessons and lots of growth. This year saw us saying goodbye to loved ones, and hello to new friends. We reconnected with people and watched as our circle grew.

I look forward to 2010 and know that it will be another year of growth and change. It will take us to Arizona and beyond. As we continue down this path and trudging this road to happy destiny I remember the mistakes of this past year, but only to learn from them. I remember the pain, but mostly I remember the love of my family and friends. I remember the continued reconnection of the people from my past, and sit here in awe of their accomplishments. I relish in the joy that everyone brings into my life, whether we see each other often, or haven’t seen each other in years. We are connected one way or another.

Remember everyday to try to be kind to God’s children, for through our kindness maybe we will find peace.

Friday, January 23, 2009

A new year, a new decade and new opportunities

Now that we are almost one month into the new year, eleven days into my Forties and three days under a new leader I thought I had enough to BLOG about. The past year had it's up and it's downs. My Grandfather used to say that life was like a heart monitor if it's flat you are dead. Jeffrey and I took our first vacation in five years in April. We spent a few days with our wonderful friends Robb and David in Washington D.C. We had an amazing time, saw the sites and spent a good deal of time just hanging out with them. We took the train to New York and saw three fantastic shows. It was a great time. As of July 1 my company was purchased by Bank of America and since then I have been working on my regular stuff, but am running a couple of transition projects to ensure that my business doesn't stop as a result of the transition to the new company. I still don't know what job I will have when all is said and done, but believe that I will land somewhere!

In October, while attending the High Level Design session on my projects my Grandmother was struck ill and passed away within two days. It was sudden and a tragic loss to me and my family. She was a vibrant woman full of life. We found after her passing that she belonged to three gyms. The big muscle guys at Gold's knew her and were said when they learned she had died. The funeral was amazing, and now we are learning about life without this wonderful woman.

This last year I discovered while visiting with my Brother and his family that Myspace wasn't where it was at, but it was Facebook. As a result I have reconnected with people I haven't seen or spoken to since High School. I realized over the last few weeks that the various stages of my life have collided. After High School I became more active in DeMolay. So active, that I was elected League President. The problem was that during my short time as League President I came out and started drinking. Rather then facing these people, who showed nothing by love and friendship I ran away. A couple of years later I got sober and found a whole new group of friends. These people changed my life, and I like to think that it was the foundation I laid with them (along with my daily prayer and meditation) has kept me sober for more then 18 years. I also met Jeffrey after my second year of sobriety, and we celebrated our sixteenth anniversary last November. He deserves a medal for putting up with me for so long! :)

I have learned over the last ten years to just be myself. What you see is what you get. I don't hide who I am and am open to all (sometimes to my determent). I have amazing people in my life today and am so grateful for all of these gifts. Now through the wonders of modern technology I have reconnected with so many people who new me at different parts of my life. People who I thought about often, but didn't know how to find. It shows me what Jeffrey always said, just because you don't see or speak to someone doesn't mean that you aren't close, or can't reconnect. He's a wise man.

As we go forward into 2009 I continue to be amazed at the lives that my long time friends have built for themselves. I am grateful for the amazing people I have in my life, and cherish them everyday. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and continue to learn. Most importantly I am grateful for the amazing man I found to spend my life with. I am truly blessed.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A letter from my friend Steve to his Parents and the Mormon Church

Dear Father, Mother and the Elders of my former Church,


The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has joined a coalition which has not just supported, but actually filed a brief with the California Supreme Court defending the established definition of marriage as the union between a man and a woman. *(Source:1). First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sent a letter to Church leaders in California to be read to all congregations on 29 June 2008: In the letter the Church states its intention to participate with the coalition to see that California Proposition 8 passes. They fail to mention the church is not just supporting but part of the coalition and that the legislation they are supporting was drafted and submitted by the coalition. The letter then directs Local Church leaders to provide political propaganda and how to get the Church members involved in passing their legislation. “We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time to assure that marriage in California is legally defined as being between a man and a woman. Our best efforts are required to preserve the sacred institution of marriage.” *(Souce:5)


I do not mind if the Church does not wish to condone Gay’s within their organization although I am astonished that they would participate in suppressing other groups and religions the right and dignity of marriage. It is a sad day when “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” violates their own teachings and joins with other organizations to initiate legislation that promotes intolerance, separatism, bigotry and the oppression of one group over another. As a Baptized Mormon I am a little uncomfortable telling you that I am ashamed of the Mormon Church and that its members including my extended family; would participate in and condone this type of behavior as acceptable.


Elder Wickman and others from the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in conjunction with the Church’s Public Affairs staff have confirmed the Church’s stand by filing a brief to the California Supreme Court as well as their Coalition to defeat bills and other propositions that were in support of Gay Marriage. “ELDER WICKMAN: One way to think of marriage is as a bundle of rights associated with what it means for two people to be married. What the First Presidency has done is express its support of marriage and for that bundle of rights belonging to a man and a woman. “ *(Source:2) They even comment as to their role and intent on formally changing the Constitution of the United States… clearly defining this a Political Concern.
It should be noted that there are mainstream churches that do marry gay men and the actions being taken by the Mormon Church and others will tread upon those religion’s beliefs and its rights under the law. This is a direct violation of the churches foundational rules and principles set forth on August 17, 1835 within section 134 paragraph 9 of ‘The Doctrine and Covenants of the Church of Jesus Chris of Latter-Day Saints’. “We do not believe it just to amingle religious influence with civil government, whereby one religious society is fostered and another proscribed in its spiritual privileges, and the individual rights of its members, as citizens, denied.” *(Source:3).


“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” is out to protect their future image by sowing the seeds of intolerance and bigotry into our laws thus stifling tolerance within the United States. Elder David A. Bednar a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles expresses one of the reasons the church is getting involved is a fear of future public opinions should Gays be granted civil rights. Specifically he references fear of fines or sanctions against the church should some future action be brought against the church should its views on Gays fail to remain popular with society. *(Source:4). You could say the church learned their lesson when African Americans gained civil liberties. The only difference between now and when the church would not accept African Americans; is that the church is out to change laws to reinforce today’s bigotry so they will not have to live through a time when society once again may become more tolerant than the church itself. Can you imagine the difficulty in converting new members including those in non Caucasian countries when society knew the church was racist and actively discriminating and not allowing African Americans to hold the priesthood? Now the Mormon Church is telling members that it’s ok to encourage the Government to with-hold marriage from Gays, because some states created a compromise called a ‘Civil Union’ which has the same rights as being married without letting them marry. Tell me how that is any different than when the government told Blacks they cannot drink from the White drinking fountain, that there was an equal but separate drinking fountain for them. Similar but separate laws for any specific group over another only serve to rob our fellow brothers and citizens of dignity and respect. At the cost of reinforcing bigoted, discriminatory, intolerant and separatist feelings within our society.


The psychological influence a religious organization / church has over its members is quite significant. Statements by the Church are often acted upon by its members as though God himself commanded it. I do not know about you but I refuse to believe that bigotry and intolerance is a trait God would practice or wish to be made into Law. These laws are flat out discriminatory. Making it unlawful for another church to marry two men. The audacity and self-righteousness of it. Any organization that perpetuates self supremacy and the superiority of their thoughts and beliefs at the expense of another’s, are no better than the Nazi’s were prior to the rise of Hitler. Do you think Germans had this deep unsatisfied desire to commit genocide and kill all the Gay and Jewish people they could possibly shove into ovens? Of course not. They were merely raised within a self-righteous society that promoted suppressing other groups and religions, a society where separatism and bigotry was considered righteous and just. Intolerance paves the way for people like Hitler to justify radical supremacist ideals by capitalizing on the intolerance while promoting hate and bigotry towards that group as a means to overcome anything and everything wrong with the world.


I was raised Christian and taught love and respect for others. I find these actions to be specifically un-Christian and damaging to God’s name and works. Actions like these are those that cause people to lose faith. I feel in these actions by the Mormon Church reinforce a thought process and behavior that represents the worst of mankind. Something I thought was on the verge of becoming an historical reference as something overcome during the spiritual growth of mankind.
I do not mind if you are Mormon. I do not mind if the Mormon Church does not wish to allow Gays to hold the priesthood, nor to join their family in heaven. Although I do not want there to be any confusion in the fact that your tithing is profiting a church that supports intolerant and separatist coalitions which are determined to prevent civil liberties for those who are unlike them. I am hurt to admit I find this to be a hateful act on behalf of my families loved and trusted religion “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”.


Sincerely,

Steve Kelly

Resources:
*Source:1 (http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/church-joins-other-faith-groups-in-defense-of-traditional-marriage
*Source:2 (http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction)
*Source:3 (http://scriptures.lds.org/en/dc/134)
*Source:4 (http://www.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/media/mediaplayer.swf?media=http://broadcast.lds.org/newsroom/video/flv/bednar_edit02_150k.flv&type=FLV)
*Source:5 (http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/california-and-same-sex-marriage).
Notes:
1.) Anti-Gay Civil Liberties Coalition Members: “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has joined with the California Catholic Conference, the National Association of Evangelicals, and the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of American” *(source:1)
2.) Additional Un-sited Information regarding the LDS church and Same Sex Marriage, including Proposition 8. Reference:1 (http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/same-sex-marriage-and-proposition-8).

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Inspirational

This is really moving.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Talking to Christians

I loved this article. This Yogi and Evangelical formed a great friendship and this article a brief excerpt from there friendship...

http://hottopics.gay.com/2008/10/talking-to-chri.html

Sunday, September 28, 2008




This is another brilliant sketch. Amy Poehler doesn't really look like Katie Couric, but wow spot on!!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

French Toast...

Several years ago Jeffrey met this couple while working in Taipei for Disney. From his email, and after he returned I heard about the show, but what I heard most was Robb and David this, and David and Robb and that... These two people enjoyed the things that Jeffrey enjoyed and not only were they roommates, but they had a great many adventures together. It wasn't until three years later that I met David. You see Robb went on adventure, and the few times I was in New York Robb wasn't around. Then Robb decided it was time to head home. We picked him up from the airport the day he arrived back, and I finally met Robb. He was tired, rundown, and I think all he wanted to was rest. Anyway, that's how I came to know Robb and David. You are probably asking yourself, "What does this have to do with french toast?" Well, It was a couple of years later that Robb taught me the right way to eat french toast. Not that there is a wrong way to eat french toast (well maybe if you put anchovies on it, GROSS!!), but Robb taught me his family's method.

We were all at my house one weekend and David offered to make french toast. Robb said that would be great as long as we had peanut butter. I questioned this, as I had never heard such a thing. You see, Robb eats his french toast with peanut butter and syrup. I thought this was odd, but I like peanut butter, and I like syrup, so I tried it. For those that know me you know that I don't try things easily, but this was something I could wrap my head around. Well, let me just say that I found a new, exceptional way to eat french toast.

Why am I writing about this, you may ask? Well, we had some stale french bread in the house, and I decided to make french toast. After our trip to Washington DC (where I rediscovered the "correct" way to eat french toast) I thought, "I have peanut butter and syrup, so let's make it right."

Anyway, thanks to Robb I know the best way to eat french toast. Hey, you now know too! Thanks Robb!